It's finally here! Vacation time. Tomorrow at 3am, we're hitting the road to California. We're going to Disneyland Tues and Wed, then on Thurs, we're going up to Santa Barbara to visit Alan's family. On the way, we're going to stop by to see Alysia! It'll be the first of hopefully many CS friend-meets! I'm really looking forward to meeting her in person. My girls are looking forward to playing with her dogs. As it turns out, going up to see her actually cuts the drive time down by almost an hour (if we weren't stopping, that is) which is great 'cause I thought we'd be driving longer. See how well this is working out?
I love this picture. It's a scene I saw almost everyday when I was attending Santa Barbara City College. I used to take a certain route so I could see this on the way to school. Not too shabby, eh? I lived there for 20 years before moving to Phoenix. Living there is a WHOLE lot different from visiting! It's very expensive there--outrageously so. By moving to AZ, we were able to buy a house and have a family, something impossible for us to do in SB. After being here for 10 years, I can really enjoy visiting and not be burdened with all the baggage that came from growing up there. I love his parents so it'll be nice to visit for a few days. We'll see them at the end of the month here in AZ at their daughter's wedding. I mentioned in an earlier post that Alan's sister was getting married and that she had asked me to plan it.
Well, I have a list a mile long to get done today, so I'll talk to you all when we get back next week. Sorry, Jodi, I HAVE to clean my bathroom or I won't be able to relax :). Merle, your book is on it's way!
Hit the floor running today. Took the girls to school, cleaned the house, started a jerk seasoned chicken to marinating, paid bills and now making CS rounds. If anyone is lacking in energy today, fell free to borrow from me, I'm exploding with it! Probably a pre-vacation rush. There's lots to do before we leave on Tues. We're getting a VERY early start-2:30am-for CA. I'm hoping that I'll be able to tap this energy and get all I need to done today without bouncing around like a super rubberball and get nothing accomplished. I need to make my ever-present list so I don't forget anything. Have Jenna in school all day today so I have no excuse not to get my chores done. I have my citrus candles burning, maybe it was a subconcious effort to burn off excess energy and use only what I need. I'm telling you, if I still feel this way after I get everything done, I' am FOR SURE do a big time grounding under my Pepper tree!
And I blazed a trail between them. It's going to seem like an uphill trail at times and I know I'll take some wrong turns, but this seems to be the answer for me at this time. I don't really like following the crowd. It may look like that's what I'm doing, but I'm very sneaky. I am very much of the "cafeteria" way of thinking. I take what I need and pass the rest by. To do otherwise is, to me, wasteful and destructive. To swallow something whole whether you agree or not can cause a lot of inner turmoil and spiritual games of Twister. In my opinion, following doctrine regardless of what's going on in your life or around the world, is pure folly. There's a line from a hymn called Once to Every Man and Nation that goes, "Time makes ancient good uncouth." It's really true!
I'm finding that the more I learn about Asatru, Nordic lore and at the same time, work with the Elements, the more I know that I can be both Witch and Asatruar. The two only clash if I think they do. I can honor my ancestors, learn the lore and aknowledge historical reconstruction and STILL be true to my witchy self. I can study the magick of the Northern tradition, learn the blots and sumbels as well as keep the Wheel of the Year alive. Both paths are inside me, so why deny either of them? I think my inner conflict came from all those years of Christianity where one is always told to chose one--and it better be the RIGHT one too! I don't have to compromise. I can be both. I can be my sneaky self.
One of the decisions I was mulling was deciphering which God was calling me. Frigga was loud and clear but the male God was cloudy. I know, I don't neccessarily have to have a male God, but I like balance (re: everything in it's place) and could hear a male voice, I just couldn't see who it was. Originally, I thought it was Odin. Married to Frigga, teacher of the Runes, symbols correlate to Hecate....obvious, right? Well, not so much. When I first got the idea of an outdoor altar, I knew it would HAVE to be in the North. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. The next thought was, "so I can honor Thor." What?! Now, this was months ago, before I even considered Asatru or the Northern Gods at all. Thor. He's married to Sif who hasn't called to me at all. I like order. If Frigga was my Goddes, then Odin should be my God. Then, last night, it came to me. I can honor and call on Odin in his aspect of Rune master to help me learn them and Thor can still be my patron. They're trying to get me to think outside the box and stretch my way of thinking. The Northern Gods want you to rely on your own logic, reason and skill. They will NOT do anything for you that They think you should be doing for yourself. They won't coddle you but They will help tip the outcome of your efforts in your favor if you make an effort and do your best. It's one of the reasons I was drawn to Them in the first place.
Still have so much to learn. Another aspect of Asatru that I like. Diana Paxon calls it religion with homework. Well, I pick up the girls in less than an hour, so I better get to cleaning!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008, 03:46 PM MST [General]
I am getting organized. Yesterday, Alan put up the shelves in the pantry for my candles and I spent an hour putting them on shelves and reorganizing my witch cabinet. I had books kind of stacked on top of one another, incense and burners, altar cloths, CDs for meditation and all the wands-to-be in one small space. Hardly tidy! This morning, I went thru my grandmother's photo albums. She gave them to me just before she crossed over Bifrost and looking thru them was bittersweet. My goal was to seperate the photos for family members who would enjoy them the most. My grandmother was one of four girls so she had lots of pictures from her sisters' families as well as her own! I have pictures dating back to 1915! I put Two Towers in the DVD and broke out the albums. A nice walk down memory lane. The only sad thing is that there are SO many pictures of people I don't recognize. I have no idea who they were and as Nana didn't really document any of the picutres, these people are strangers. No one in my family knows who they are. The only ones who do are gone now. A lesson, write down names and places in your photo albums! A few years before she died, I went thru her albums with her but there were people even she didn't recognize-at least that's what she told me. She led a wild life when she was younger and I think sometimes, she just said she didn't recognize people or failed to tell me stories of parts of her life 'cause she didn't want me to know about them! Are you kidding? I would have loved to hear those stories. One example, is that she (unknowingly) hired a German spy as a nanny! This woman spoke fluent German and Japanese and wouldn't allow herself to be photographed; yet somehow, these red flags went unnoticed! The only place (I know of) in the entire US to be bombed durring WWII was Goleta Beach in Santa Barbara, CA. This woman went out to the beach at midnight, signaled her boss who was anchored off the coast and...KAPOW! Now, this is one of the stories I KNOW! Can you imagine what she didn't want to tell me, lol? I still have a long way to go in my organization plans but it's a start. Ok, off to pick up Lexi.
I'm fed up with dieting-ok, so it's a bad pun. I'm totally frustrated. I've been soooo good about what I'm putting (and not putting) in my mouth for nearly a month and NOTHING! The scale will go down then bounce back up, WTF? It happened again today so I'm doing the childish thing and baking choc chip banana muffins. *sticks out tongue at scale* I'm beginning to think that nothing short of lipo or wiring my jaw shut will achieve results. I've been fighting this for far too damn long. I'm not asking much. I just want to like the way I look again. I'm heading for 40 and I know my metabolism will change again and not for the better. Will try one more tack before I panic and go ballistic. Please send me good Health energy, I desperately need it.
